Thank You

Having just celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with friends and family I wanted to post about things I'm thankful for. It's such a long list I'm not even really sure where to begin but I'll start with my husband. I owe much of our parenting success to the fact that he and I have the same dream in regards to helping foster kids. Fostering is not something a family could do if the parents aren't both in it together. I'm thankful for his support, encouragement, friendship and unconditional love that he gives to me and all our kids. My son is next. He's the best kid ever and I'm thankful, blessed and lucky all in one to say I'm his mom.

With the first two being the most important, the rest aren't in any particular order so I'll say now how thankful I am for our friends. Both far and near, everyone I can call a friend has been nothing but understanding about how unpredictable our schedule can be, how crazy and naughty our kids can be, and the fact that I've become completely neglectful of our friendships. I appreciate you one and all and even though I don't talk to many of you on a very regular basis these days, I haven't forgotten about you and the fact that you are out there and thinking about me means so much and I promise I can feel the love! Keep it coming! Your kind words always mean so much. Know that I miss being able to make plans with you, to hang out and visit and even to be spontaneous. Our social calendar is pretty dusty these days. 

A big thank you goes out to my family who care so much about two little girls that they haven't even met and are so understanding about my constant failure to give them concrete answers on most of their questions surrounding our foster parenting. My family is on my mind so much because they have really seen and felt the results from the sacrifices we make when it comes to being foster parents. Making trips back home, long phone conversations, offers for them to come visit us, birthday and holiday cards, are all much fewer and further between these days. We face a real possibility of not being able to visit for Christmas this year which is hard since my grandparents turn 90 this year and I truly want to visit them more often while I still have them. We visited over the summer but put the girls in respite care not wanting to deal with all the red tape that goes along with trying to take them with us. If we don't get permission to take the girls along but decide to go back to visit family over the holidays, the girls will have to stay in respite care again, which honestly isn't a bad thing. Our favorite and most reliable and willing respite provider is an amazing woman who loves the girls as much as we do. But we would like to be able to have the choice to spend the holiday with them and give our family a chance to meet them. But respite care is a tempting choice because of course, we can always use a break from the chaos. We have been waiting for an answer and will know early next week if the girls will be able to join us to visit family for Christmas this year. The caseworker asked their parents and they said no, (legally they have this right) so now the request will go to a judge to decide in court if it is in the best interest of the kids to spend Christmas with us, the foster parents they've been with for over seven months. And on the other side of it, if we do get the green light to take the girls, we are wondering how we are going to squeeze into our car for the 8 hour trip. My poor son, a teenager squeezed in between 2 car seats containing two unpredictably wild screaming monkeys is definitely a form of torture that we don't want to put him through. Is it better for us to spend the money and rent a van or easier to pay for respite care and an extra week of day care? Scheduling respite care isn't always easy and I haven't done the math on the costs for the van or daycare and I don't really want to until we know for sure what our options are. Not because I hate math (even though I do) but because I don't want to base our decision on how much either choice costs. I want us to do what's best for all of us. And that gets tricky. We might be coming, we might not. We might be bringing our little elves, we might not. So thank you family, for waiting on an answer about our holiday plans. I love you and appreciate your patience so much.

I'm thankful to all the therapists who work so hard to get words out of Little A and encourage her to try new things and help Big A write her name and strengthen her weak muscles. Doctors who prescribe medications and give advice to keep the girls healthy. Teachers and caregivers who tirelessly show effort in patience as they spend each day helping these girls overcome their many delays and social challenges. Case workers who truly care about the survival of these little girls and our success in caring for them are a blessing to the whole system and the only reason I just don't sit down and quit. Our respite care providers and babysitters save my sanity in so many ways and I am so very grateful that it brings tears to my eyes. Fellow foster moms who I can trust to share my frustrations and fears are an absolute necessity that I have recently discovered within this foster parenting process. I've made some very valuable friendships that I thank God for often.

And speaking of God, I am so thankful to have a church that in almost every sermon encourages acts of service in our community and the world. That is what church should be and we are blessed to have an amazing place like Flatirons Community Church that inspires good things. There have been many Saturday nights or Sunday mornings that I have sat in church and heard just the right thing to keep me going. Thank you pastor Jim and Scott.

I recently started a new job and I'm thankful for my husband who told me to absolutely go for it and try something new. And for my new boss who's willing to take a chance on me and my wacky schedule and thinks that stay at home moms like myself are an underutilized resource for business owners looking for competent personal assistants. I appreciate his give and take attitude. So far so good.

And thanks to my blog readers! I think there might only be a few of you but that's alright with me. I know there is at least one (hi Dad! :) I appreciate your listening ear and of course your encouraging feedback. It's been so therapeutic for me to be able to come here and share and vent both the good and bad that I encounter along this foster mom's journey. Thank you all for being beside me, in one form or another, along the way.